Sensitive Content Warning: This post touches on themes related to mental health.

I’ve been reconnecting with Newgrounds over the last few months, editing my favorites list, the users I follow, and checking the comments I left, and... Oh lord. Honestly, it made me realize I was a scumbag when I was 16. I feel really bad about the person I was back then.

I had a lot of mental issues at the time. I was especially narcissistic, pretentious, and avoidant on the internet, seeking refuge in inappropriate things I wanted to copy to gain attention. I used to reply to others in a rude and arrogant way.

I want to make a public apology to anyone I may have offended back then. I was immature, an attention whore who hated the people who tried to be kind, and that's really toxic. I also was jealous, and that pushed my limits. I know that at one point, I completely exploded emotionally and disappeared for many years, cutting ties with many of the contacts and friends I had made on Newgrounds. I deeply regret how I behaved and today, I'm so happy some of the friends I had succeded!

Don’t be like I used to be. Ask for help, or you might attempt to commit suicide at some point. Take care of the people who likes you.

To my fans from back then: I’m sorry for not following through on my promises. I set unrealistic goals, and being an emotional mess, I would drop projects. That’s actually how Furry Random Stuffs came to be, a series showing all of my incomplete works.

For those curious about which projects were scrapped, here’s a list:

• All Your Game Are Belong To Us
• Furry Random Stuffs 4
• Legend of Pokémon 2
• Legend of Pokémon DX
• Left 4 Dead Music Video
• Madness Day 2007 movie
• A long Clock Day 2008 movie
• Parodius Flash
• Picross Flash
• Power of Three: Moon Gold
• Taiko Flash Simulator
• Tails and his GBA 4
• Fuzzy Madness Spoofs

Today, I’m doing much better, although I still have some mental disorders (like being a people pleaser) and several health issues from avoiding human interaction for almost a decade. I’ve been focusing on my personal growth, and even if I don’t have as much time as before, I still want to create things, games in particular. I’ve started reconnecting with Newgrounds because I never wanted to stop creating. I’ve been going through my journals, correcting spelling mistakes, and removing things I now find cringey.

I won’t be editing or removing any of my original submission files, even if some of them make me uncomfortable, but I might censor the last scene of Furry Random Stuffs 3 when I upload the video version for obvious reasons.

Once again, I sincerely apologize to anyone I might have hurt or disappointed. I’ve changed a lot since then, and I’m still working on being a better person every day. This post might come across as unnecessary or like I'm seeking sympathy, but I felt it was important to share it publicly as part of my healing process, and if ever needed, as a statement to justify my actions from the past.

Thanks for reading.

Related post: https://sonucais.newgrounds.com/news/post/1081132